Vegan life

  Since I went Vegan I have been happier with my body and how I know I'm doing something good for the animals and the environment. The biggest thing that makes me proud to be vegan is that I am saving animals every day that I am vegan, I've been vegetarian for around 8+ years and when I realised the cruelty in the dairy and egg industry I couldn't carry on the way I was, I had to cut it out. I can't stand the thought that I am paying somebody to hurt an animal, I can't stand that I funded that. I am fully cruelty free in my diet, and working on (almost there) on being cruelty free with everything. Make-up and other beauty products are the annoying thing but there are some highstreet brands that don't test on animals, and the BodyShop has finally left the hands of L'oreal so I can go back to shopping there (woo!).
  I am vegan firstly for the animals as I do not believe that we have the right to take away any animals life whether it be a fellow human, a cat, a dog, a pig, a cow, a chicken etc. I can't truly say that I love animals whilst putting them through so much pain. Scenario time, as this is always fun, ok so you have a cat that loves to go outside and roam around. If it meowed at you and lead you to the door (this is what my cat does when he wants to go out and the doors are shut) you would let it out no? You would do that because you want to grant your friend's (your cat's) wish to go outside and live its life. However, many people draw the line when a cow looks longingly at the open pasture as its baby gets taken away from it just days (if they're lucky) after it has been born. We shouldn't be drawing lines and taking away the freedom of some animals and not others. For the post part humanity takes care of the animals that they deem fit for human compassion and the others, well, everyone eats them because 'but, bacon'. Stop drawing your stupid non-existent lines!
Secondly I am vegan for the planet, if people stopped or even simply slowed down their meat and dairy consumption so much land would become free space, there would be so many less pollutants in the air and our oceans. The Oceans are dying, its a sad sad fact that honestly makes me cry if I think about it a little too long. The meat and Dairy industry puts more pollutants out into the world than the entire motor vehicle industry do. It's crazy, absolute madness.
  Lastly, I am vegan for myself as I know that I am treating my body the way it should be, as in not a grave yard. I feel healthier, the look of body doesn't change unless I eat but that's because I'm eating so duh, of course it would do that, I'm not as tired as I used to be, and I have so much more peace of mind about my own doings.

   The only thing that bugs me is that people like to say I'm wrong, or being judgemental for telling them facts. I was working and one of my co-workers found out that I was Vegan (she's new so hadn't questioned my food choices yet) and as soon as she realised her first question was why. To which I replied 'because I don't want to hurt animals', her reply (joke or not I couldn't tell) was 'but you drink water and fish live in water. So, you're drinking their home'. At the end of our conversation, she said 'But one person won't make a difference anyway'. Please, somebody help this person. One person can make a difference, I don't understand the mentality. I would say that I'm kind of a pessimist when it comes to most things but when it comes to veganism and the welfare of animals I become so positive about how you, person reading this, can make a difference with small changes in your diet. Instead of picking up a bottle of cow's milk pick up Almond milk or oat milk, instead of buying chicken buy tofu. Don't let the industry funded health organisations brainwash you. If you don't believe me do your own research. It's truly eye opening.

Vegan positive vibes to all that have stuck to the end. If you are Vegan yay! If your not please consider making changes to your diet, you don't need to do it all at once but gradual changes towards veganism are good, and before you know it you won't have anything else to change. Don't listen to the haters, listen to your heart.

Safe, Happy, In Love

You make me feel safe,
I don't want to run away no matter how scared I get.
I know I love you because of that.
I don't want to run away from the people that I love, the people that I truly care about.
The people that I know it's silly to think that they would leave.

When your arms are around me the rest of the world melts away.
It's just us in the void that is my mind.
It used to just be me but when you wrap your strong arms around me,
I'm not alone anymore.

You make me happy,
You aren't the only thing but you have certainly contributed to me being the happiest I've ever been.

I love the way you smile at me, and kiss my forehead
I love the way your hair feels when it's just been washed
I love the way your eyes change in different lights
I love the way you make silly jokes that make me roll my eyes and smile
I love the way you let me waffle on for hours about things you don't understand
I love the way you listen and really help, you don't look down on me for not understanding myself
I love everything about you, even the annoying things
I wouldn't change a thing about you because to me your perfect

I don't know what's going to happen in a year, but right now I'm just happy that you're here.

Should I say it?

I want to tell him. I need to tell him.
But what if it doesn't go how I want it to
What if he doesn't feel the same way
What if it scares him
Will it ruin everything?
Saying I love you and truly meaning is what I need to do.
As much as I go over it in my head and laugh when it doesn't go my way,
I don't really want that to happen.
I can see myself saying it, and
your reply simply being 'What?'
I can see myself blushing, and
you just laughing.
I want you to say it back after all that.
But what if you don't.

I feel like you love me, should I take the leap and say it first?



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Losing People

People leave. That is something that I have become accustomed to happening. I've only ever had one friend that has stuck by me through everything and she means the absolute world to me, I should probably tell her that really. I've had a lot of people that I've let leave or that I have pushed away before that happens because I fear it happening. I think I've probably done the latter more. I'm kind of a loner, I don't play well with others for long periods of time. Yet some people stay by my side anyway so maybe if you don't go away or I refuse to push you away does that mean you are meant to be in my life?
I'm kind of a believer in fate, I believe that everything happens for one reason or another. Maybe you came into my life to teach me a lesson or give me support just when I needed it most. Maybe I was put in your life for those or other reasons. If people leave, or you leave them maybe you just weren't supposed to be together, as friends or otherwise. And if you are supposed to be together fate will find a way to put the two of you back together again. Whatever fate is, whether it is this all consuming force controlling the world or something inside you that makes you do something for whatever reason you think up. If its fate, it is meant to be.
Whatever happens, it happened for a reason.

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It's all in your head

I don't know what it is inside my head, inside my brain. I don't know what caused it, I don't even know what 'it' is in the first place. I don't have a name for it, I have an idea but no solid conclusion. It goes, then comes back, it's never been as bad as back then but it hasn't been great. Is it bad enough to do anything about it yet? But if I do nothing will it get that bad again?
I can manage on my own, I've dealt with it for years. Happy, sad, and back again, maybe even elated. Then bam! I'm at the bottom of a dark dark ocean, on my own and I have no one helping me back out again. There is no light at the bottom of the ocean. Suddenly, the light beams down upon me and lifts me out of the ocean back to the surface. I can't see the beach, I'm in the middle of the ocean struggling to stay up but right now I'm up in the light and I really don't want to start sinking again. Eventually my arms and legs will give way though, the light will go again at some point. The best thing is that it will come back eventually too.

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Free

I want to be free. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than to feel and be free. I realise that it is somewhat an impossible feat these days but that is what I want. I want to be free to love and live and be who I am. Society traps us and makes us feel as though being free will never be an option. The people around us can trap us and do the same. The trick to being free is not caring what society or what other people think. If those thoughts of 'are they laughing at me' or 'they won't like me if...' plague everybody I'm sure. I'm getting better at blocking those things out and I do feel more free than I have ever felt before.
There are a lot of things that have allowed me to feel free. I moved out, I open love animation and Disney and fight for that love. I wear whatever I want to wear. I like myself (controversial I know but crucial I think). I can't be bothered to please people anymore and that realisation has helped me just so much more than I ever thought it would. I can't be bothered to bow down and allow people to trample on me anymore. In order to be free I cannot let myself be tied down by other peoples standards for what I should be doing. I'm doing what I want to do, and I feel more free than ever before.

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feeling numb

I feel numb
I have emotion but it is dull
It just doesn't burn like it is supposed to
I feel happy but it's subdued
I haven't felt like this in a long time
I didn't want it to come back
I can fake a smile
It isn't hard
I've had an awful lot of practice after all