It's all in your head

I don't know what it is inside my head, inside my brain. I don't know what caused it, I don't even know what 'it' is in the first place. I don't have a name for it, I have an idea but no solid conclusion. It goes, then comes back, it's never been as bad as back then but it hasn't been great. Is it bad enough to do anything about it yet? But if I do nothing will it get that bad again?
I can manage on my own, I've dealt with it for years. Happy, sad, and back again, maybe even elated. Then bam! I'm at the bottom of a dark dark ocean, on my own and I have no one helping me back out again. There is no light at the bottom of the ocean. Suddenly, the light beams down upon me and lifts me out of the ocean back to the surface. I can't see the beach, I'm in the middle of the ocean struggling to stay up but right now I'm up in the light and I really don't want to start sinking again. Eventually my arms and legs will give way though, the light will go again at some point. The best thing is that it will come back eventually too.

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